Stop Hating on Other People’s Relationships!

Apparently, you need at least five years of being together before getting engaged. Then, a year from engagement to the wedding. After that, you're supposed to travel the world with your partner, build financial stability, and really enjoy your time together before bringing a baby into the world, which, of course, takes another five years. This means that if you are in your early 20s, you should already be with the love of your life. On the other hand, your 20s are supposedly meant for being single, figuring yourself out, and taking every opportunity while you still don’t have another soul to take care of. I’m in my early 20s, and I’ve done both. I’ve been in relationships, and I’ve been single. Looking back, one thing I’ve discovered, whether I was with someone or just focusing on myself, is that humans have a natural tendency to want what they can’t have.

We all have those friends who’ve been together with their partner since forever, and I often wonder: How can they be so sure? My opinion is that they are not. However, this is just based on my failed-relationships knowledge, so maybe I am not the person who should answer. Still, if you are interested in my opinion, here you go: I believe that all people, even the ones who’ve been together longer than when I got my first kiss, are figuring things out as well, just like singles. And that’s something we all have in common. Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase, divorced, single, engaged, or married, we’re all trying to understand what we want in life (at least until a certain mature age). Who lifts us, who brings us down, who we’d trust with raising our future kids, or, in my case, who’s able to make me the perfect pressed espresso in the morning. It is very important. My point is that we all have a lot of questions, and most of all, we’re all just confused when it comes to the world of dating.

This is why I react when people hate on other people’s relationships. I scroll through Instagram reels, and my page is constantly filled with hate content. Everything from Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco’s engagement to Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’ "cringe" relationship. Or maybe, more trending these days, Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet's PDA. That casual European-backpacker vibe combined with the baddie Barbie really seems to be a hit! The couple went public in April 2023, and people haven't stopped hating ever since. From tennis matches to the Grammys and Coachella, they’ve been judged nonstop. But why? They’re two incredibly successful people dating, as if that hasn't happened before? What makes me even more mad is when people feel the need for constant comparison between Timothée and Kylie versus Zendaya and Tom Holland.. We have to realize that everyone loves differently - and thank God for that!

The ironic part is that the hate is often coming from phone-addicted strangers lying in bed, just looking to spread negativity online. Like, who are we to judge? My point AGAIN: we all have a lot of questions, and most of all, we’re all just confused. Celebrities are in the same boat as the phone-addicted haters. Maybe I've landed on the wrong side of the algorithm, but it makes me wonder if this trend of bashing couples is just a reflection of jealousy? A dangerous tendency in humans. It can ruin relationships, destroy friendships, and erode self-esteem. It's also closely connected to ownership, that primal instinct we humans first learn when we're babies and stuck in the playground fighting with other toddlers over the same Lego. So yes, I can see how hating on other people's relationships is closely linked to those early human tendencies we all develop. However, we aren't babies anymore, so we can't use "baby mentality" as an excuse. Grow up.

The same goes for those older Western men with beautiful young Filipino women I see at the local bar here in Boracay. This might be an unpopular opinion, especially back in Western countries where the picture of a "standard" family is pushed into our heads from a young age. But honestly? I feel like we should just leave them alone. With my dad being Norwegian and my mom Filipina, I naturally grew up around many family friends in the same boat. Sometimes the man is twice his wife’s age, maybe even her mom’s (just kidding… kind of ), and they are genuinely happy together. Let me paint a common scenario that might change your perspective. Consider this: The man is divorced, maybe once, maybe twice? His kids are grown, his marriage ended for whatever reason, and he's feeling depressed (okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but I've seen it happen). He decides to travel to Asia, where even I find the women drop-dead gorgeous, and meets a woman who wants to spend time with him. Whether there's a financial aspect or not, I honestly don't care, as long as it brings them both more happiness being together rather than being alone.

So, no matter where you are on this wild ride called dating, we're all just figuring it out one step at a time. However, here is one thing I truly believe, and I'll end on this positive note since my writing has been slightly intense haha... I think we should all strive to be with someone who genuinely makes us happy. Period. Look at Timothée and Kylie. They've been together since April 2023 - that's two years of being publicly and consistently committed to one another. Their happiness is clearly stronger than all the online negativity. So instead of casting judgment, maybe it's time we all take a step back. Seriously: Stop hating on other people’s relationships.